Questions, resources and support

Questions, questions, questions

Could you be an adoptive parent? Is it right for you? Is this the right time of life for you to adopt? Do you want to do a domestic or international adoption? Infant or older child? Open, closed, or semi-open? Is it important to share the same ethnic background with your child?

These are just a few of the myriad of questions you will consider as you begin the journey of adoption. We recommend that you compile lists of questions to be answered, sooner or later, and seek resources early on that will help you sort through the many issues you face as an adoptive parent.


Some books recommended by fantastic adoptive families in our practice at Eugene Pediatric Associates include:

  • “Adoption Parenting: Practical Tools for Today’s Parents,” by Deborah D. Gray.
  • “Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today’s Parents,” by Deborah D. Gray, May 2002.
  • “Becoming a Family,” by Lark Esleman.
  • “Connection Parenting: Parenting Through Connection instead of Coercion, Through Love Instead of Fear,” by Pam Leo.
  • “Cross-Cultural Adoption: How to Answer questions from Family, Friends and Community,” by Amy Coughlin.
  • “I Don’t Have Your Eyes,” by Carrie A. Kitze, Nov 2003.
  • “I Love You Like Crazy Cakes,” Rose A. Lewis and Jane Dyer, Sept. 2000.
  • “In Their Own Voices: Transracial Adoptees Tell Their Stories,” by Rita J. Simon.
  • “Lifeboods: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child,” by Beth O’Malley, Feb 2008.
  • “Nurturing Adoptions: Creating Resilience After Neglect and Trauma,” by Deborah D. Gray; July 2007.
  • “Post-Adoption Blues: Overcoming the Unforseen Challenges of Adoption,” by Karen Foli and John Thompson, Aug 2004.
  • “Raising Adopted Children,” by Lois Ruskai Melina.
  • “Real Parents, Real Children: Parenting the Adopted Child,” by Holly Van Gulden.
  • “Talking with Young Children about Adoption,” by Mary Watkins.
  • “Toddler Adoption: The Weaver’s Craft,” by Mary Hopkins-Best, Nov 1998.
  • “Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew,” by Sherrie Eldridge, Oct 1999.


Many abound and although we cannot vouch for their quality, some terrific families that we know at Eugene Pediatric Associates have recommended them to other families:

Adoption agencies

A multitude of adoption agencies exist; you are not limited by agencies in Oregon. The following Oregon adoption agencies have been recommended to us:

Attorneys specializing in adoption

There are many! Connect with other families in our practice (ask us how), search the yellow pages, and interview the attorneys before you get started to decide which one “feels right” to you.


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The process of adopting a child is often long and complex, but the results we’ve seen are nothing short of miraculous. Here, we explore some of the ways your pediatrician can support you in caring for a child you have already adopted.